Finding Clarity in Chaos: How to Overcome Feeling Stuck

As a coach, I work with high performers: entrepreneurs, sales leaders, and business owners. They are smart, capable, and successful by most standards. They don’t come to me because they are failing. They come to me because something feels off.

They’re grinding, producing, and moving forward, but not with clarity. At some point, they hit a wall. This wall doesn’t signify failure. Instead, they are often stuck in a version of success that no longer fits. When this moment hits, they typically express the same concern:

“I don’t know what to do next.”

Sometimes this sounds like confusion; other times, it sounds like burnout. Regardless, it almost always points to the same thing: a decision they’re avoiding.

I ask them one simple question that cuts through the fog like a blade:

“If you did know what to do… what would the answer be?”

This is not a trick question. It challenges them to confront their feelings. The phrase “I don’t know” is a cop-out. It doesn’t sit well with me.

You’re Not Stuck… You’re Avoiding a Decision

That question interrupts their usual thought patterns. When people say “I don’t know,” they often mean “I haven’t admitted it yet” or “I don’t want to think long and hard enough to answer the question.”

They’re not lacking strategy. Instead, they are avoiding the consequences of clarity. Clarity forces a decision, and decisions come with discomfort, risk, and potential identity shifts. As a result, they remain stuck in limbo—smart yet overwhelmed, endlessly spinning.

The Symptoms of Avoidance

Understanding how avoidance manifests is key. Here are some signs you may be avoiding important decisions:

• Incessant Busywork: You appear productive but are merely filling your schedule with tasks.

• Perfectionism and Procrastination: You stall because you fear making mistakes.

• Half-Baked Initiatives: You begin many projects but fail to commit to any of them fully.

  
  

These symptoms often point to one central truth: you are avoiding a decision that feels too risky to voice.

What Being Stuck Actually Looks Like

Being stuck doesn’t always translate to idleness or inactivity. Ironically, many of the individuals I coach are quite busy. They produce results, lead teams, solve problems, and set appointments.

However, if you examine the activity more closely, you’ll find:

• They are avoiding one key decision.

• They are protecting a version of themselves that used to work.

• They are fighting the fear of what happens if they stop “performing” long enough to initiate a real shift.

  
  

Underneath all this activity lies a significant decision that they are afraid to acknowledge.

The Real Reason People Say “I Don’t Know”

There are three main reasons high performers often default to saying “I don’t know”:

1. Fear of Loss

They know what they need to do, but fear the sacrifices involved. This could be a title, a team member, or a part of their business that appears good on paper but leaves them drained daily.

2. Fear of Imperfection

They want to get it right the first time. Thus, they may over-research and overthink. Remember, clarity rarely comes in flawless form. It often emerges through action and movement.

3. Fear of Judgment

They understand the actions they want to take but fear how it will appear to clients, partners, and other influencers. They worry about damaging the identity they have fought hard to maintain. So, they divert to “I don’t know,” believing confusion is a safer option than making a wrong decision.

The Coaching Pivot: Asking Better Questions

I never chase clients down the “I don’t know” rabbit hole with more advice. Instead, I ask penetrating questions that unearth clarity.

Here are three questions I regularly use when a client feels stuck:

1. “What decision are you avoiding right now?”

This question gets to the heart of the matter. It sheds light on the truth behind confusion. Stuck is often just deferred clarity. When clients answer this honestly, they unlock movement. Not because the decision is easy, but because they finally stop pretending they don’t know.

2. “What would you do if you weren’t afraid of getting it wrong?”

This question alleviates pressure. It creates mental space for clear thinking, free from fear. By reframing “what’s the right answer?” to “what’s the aligned answer?”, clients can often tap into their gut feelings. This query grants them permission to voice those thoughts.

3. “What’s the next *fierce* conversation you need to have?”

Clarity often lies behind a conversation we dread. This could be with a business partner, client, team member, spouse, or even with ourselves. When a leader identifies the conversation they are avoiding, they’ve made significant progress. This question facilitates breakthroughs because it’s direct and straightforward.

Stuck Isn’t a Symptom. It’s a Signal.

If you’re currently feeling stuck, consider asking yourself:

• What am I pretending I don’t know?

• What am I afraid will happen if I choose what I already feel?

• What clarity am I avoiding because it would necessitate a change?

  
  

Getting unstuck doesn’t always begin with action. Sometimes, it starts with the simple act of telling the truth.

That truth might feel weighty at first. However, it is far lighter than lugging confusion around with you every quarter.

You Don’t Need More Motivation. You Need Alignment.

After coaching hundreds of leaders, I've learned a critical insight: Most people don’t need to push harder. Instead, they need to pause long enough to hear what they already know.

From there, they should establish systems, boundaries, and routines that support that truth without sabotaging it later. You can't think your way out of being stuck. But you can coach yourself forward with better questions.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Shift

If you’re feeling stuck, remember this: you are not broken. You’re likely just protecting a version of success that you’ve outgrown.

When you’re ready, clarity arrives swiftly.

So let me ask you one more time:

If you did know what to do next… what would the answer be?

If you find yourself at a crossroads, feeling successful yet sensing something is off, don’t wait for the burnout to catch up. Drop me a message. Let’s talk.